


Les Années Noires

by alittlebitofmewilldo



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), All aboard the PainTrain, Angst, F/M, GiveMarinetteABreak2k16, Grief/Mourning, This got really out of hand, all aboard the angstfest, im so s o r r y, or should i say the DuPain Train ayyyy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 11:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6326569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlebitofmewilldo/pseuds/alittlebitofmewilldo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is no Ladybug without her Chat Noir</p>
            </blockquote>





	Les Années Noires

Ladybug is 21 when her Chat falls. Marinette is 21 when she finds out who the face behind her beloved's mask is.  
Marinette cries for Adrien, as does the rest of Paris. Ladybug cries for Chat Noir, but she does so alone.  
Marinette is 21 when she attends her first funeral. The black clothes aren't nearly dark enough to fit the gaping black hole she feels inside her.  
She leaves before the funeral can end.

(Marinette had always wondered why it had been so easy to keep her identity a secret from Adrien. Now she knows.)

Marinette is 22 when she gets an internship at Agreste Fashion Industry. On her first day, she gets to meet Gabriel Agreste, and his eyes seem even emptier than before. He doesn't say anything other than a quick 'Hello' before he's out the door, but she could feel his eyes boring into her with the rage of someone who knew what she did.  
The next day, she quits.

(His father had been one of the few reasons they sometimes fought -with Marinette's straightforwardness, being around Gabriel Agreste was a recipe for disaster. Though his father had admitted to respecting her designing skills, he greatly disliked the loud and rude girl that hung around his son. Marinette tried to keep her distaste to herself, she really did, but there was only so much injustice she could stand and almost every dinner with Gabriel ended in screams from Marinette's side, and cold condescending disapproval from Gabriel's side.)

Ladybug is 23 when she sees a pair of black ears following her. Her heart speeds, her face blossoms and tears fill her eyes -Chat, mon Chat, c'est tu?, she thinks, but harsh reality hits her when she sees a pair of brown eyes in the ever-so familiar mask.   
It has brown eyes and brown, long hair that curls at the tips and it greets her with a smile and a wink, it greets her with a 'Hello there, partner' and 'it's an honour to finally meet you' and 'I have been waiting for this moment' and all she can think is; you're supposed to say mew-ment, she thinks, you're not Chat Noir, and then she's falling and she can only just throw her yoyo around a building before she flattens herself on the streets, instead gracefully throwing herself on the sidewalk, against the wall of a building.   
She's gone before the fake Chat can find her.

Ladybug is 23 when she has her first fight with the new Chat, against an akuma that calls herself the Merryman, and it's all wrong. The Chat keeps getting in her way, tries to fight the thing by himself and throws himself in front of her at the most inconvenient times. She doesn't defeat the akuma until the Chat is unconscious on the ground, hit by one of the horses of the merry-go-round, and Ladybug cleanses the evil within seconds. She lingers for a second, wondering if she should take the unconscious cat to a safe place, but then her earrings beep and she figures it's as good an excuse as any to clear out.   
When she's home, she can't find it in herself to worry about the boy she left behind. It's not her Chat -her Chat was gone, and he had taken all her love with him. 

Adrien's disapproving eyes look at her from the wall, where his picture still hangs. 

(They moved in together when they were nineteen, accompanied by a chorus of disapprovals, saying they were too young and irresponsible and only together for two years, just children, but it had felt natural to them, it had felt right, and Marinette had never been so happy as when she could fall asleep next to Adrien Agreste, the love of her life.)

Marinette is 24 and standing in front of a grave. She's holding a bouquet of forget-me-nots and pigeon feathers -a stupid joke two children made, about being able to sneeze himself back to life. She feels pathetic for still hoping, still thinking about it, after all these years.  
It doesn't stop her from putting down the bouquet, on the place his face is supposed to be.  
A dark shadow comes up behind her, and she doesn't have to turn around to know who it is. She's never seen him here before, and she comes every two weeks. Maybe it was too painful. Maybe he didn't have time.  
Marinette didn't care anymore.  
'You quit.' he says, and she's surprised he remembers. She can't speak now, not without starting to cry, so she shrugs instead. He hums disapprovingly.   
'You won't make it in the fashion world with that attitude.'  
She swallows. Hard.   
'I'm gonna take over my parents bakery.' her voice is shrill, small. He doesn't say anything, just bends down to put his own flowers on the grave. His are lilies, a giant bouquet with lilies in colours they’re not supposed to have.   
They stand together in silence for at least an hour.

(He asks; 'Marinette, do you blame yourself?'  
'I was late,' she answers. 'I forced him to fight alone.')

Ladybug is 24 when the other Chat reveals his identity. He does it without warning, without asking her, and suddenly she's on the roof with a brown eyed pipsqueak with a grin too big for his face and eyes too eager for approval. She doesn't know what to say, what to do, so she just stares at the boy. She never really looked at him before, but now she notes that he can't be older than sixteen. He has a small gap between his front teeth. There are freckles under his eyes that are normally obscured by the mask.  
She has no idea who he is.   
But she thinks about Adrien, she thinks about her Chat Noir and how much better it could've been if she had known, if only she had known, and releases her transformation as well, causing the boy to gasp.   
'Y- you're the lady from the bakery!' he exclaims in childish wonder and a hint of disappointment, as if he had been expecting someone more grand, more glamorous, more celebrity-like.  
A model, maybe, world famous for his looks and name.  
She forces a smile, and a laugh takes over his face. 'My friend has, like, the biggest crush on you.' he informs her excitedly, and he launches into a description of his friend, than his other friends, than his family, but Marinette has stopped listening. His flailing reminds her of a time when her kitty would still fall on his face in an attempt to impress her, when her kitty fell into ponds because she surprised him, when...  
'Are you hungry?' she interrupts his word vomit. He looks flabbergasted, but his stomach rumbles and answers her question for him. She steers him towards a staircase, ignoring his suddenly soft mumbling about already having eaten and needing to go home and takes out her keys.   
'We always have cheesecake left at the end of the day.' she says, and he protests no more.  
She thinks about her first fight with her kitty, how she accidentally gave him a black eye because she threw her yoyo and it ended on his face, how he had scratched her lower back when they both scrambled for the pen that had held the akuma. She thinks about how long it took for them to fight as a team, and decides this boy isn't so bad.  
He's not her Chat Noir, but he could be worse.

Marinette receives a job offer for a job at Agreste Fashion on her 25th birthday. It takes her three days to accept, and when she calls she gets a highly amused Gabriel Agreste on the phone. He proposes to meet for lunch to discuss the details. She accepts

(His eyes are still empty, and broken, but they are lighter than before.   
She still can't bring herself to look him in the eyes.)

It becomes a weekly thing.   
It's awkward, at first -how could it not be? They stiffly discuss fashion, designs, latest fads (he seems exasperated with his newest assistant, a young girl who's only 21 and keeps sending him pictures of very grumpy looking cats. Marinette is too amused to explain). They talk about work and the weather and the bakery, and fall silent when his name comes up, only to awkwardly start a new conversation about a different subject.  
Only once does he ask about the new Chat Noir. Marinette doesn't answer.

The new Chat -or Tom, his civilian name, and there's a joke there about tomcats and newbies that her Chat would have loved- enters the bakery on aa beautiful Saturday morning, when she is working the desk shift. He recognizes her and grins cockily, but his eyes immediately stray to the girl next to him, the girl with a dark skin and a hijab wrapped around her head, who is flushed bright red and can't look Marinette in the face.   
Marinette assumes that's his friend with a crush.  
They pay, Tom making cat jokes that are not nearly as subtle as he thinks, but Marinette smiles politely anyway, even though the jokes can't sway her heart the way someone else’s once did, and when they leave the bakery Marinette winks at the girl when she turns to wish her a good day. Her face turns even brighter red and she only manages to stutter the word 'G-g-gOOD-' before she runs out the bakery.   
Marinette smiles in a way she hasn't smiled in years.

(The new Chat sulks, next time she meets him. He doesn't meet her eyes and only talks to answer any questions she poses, which aren't much. At the end of the patrol, when she tells him not to come if he's only going to act like a baby, he snaps at her that oh, sorry that he wasn't as mature as the oh so cool bakery lady, and runs off, leaving Ladybug with the sneaking suspicion he hadn't liked the way his friend had blushed at Marinette's sight.)

Marinette never talks to her parents about what happened. She knows they worry, still. She can see it in their eyes when she pulls away from a hug too soon, when her smile doesn't reach her eyes, when her laugh sounds as hollow as she feels. She saw it in their hesitance when she announced she was giving up on fashion to work in the bakery, and in their relief when she accepted the job at Agreste fashion.  
She doesn't talk to them about it, even though they want her to. Even though they try.  
They wouldn't understand.

Marinette lost touch with Alya after Adrien's death. Alya had moved to New York a year earlier, to some prestigious journalism school, and Marinette couldn't find it in herself to pretend to be happy when she spoke to Alya on the phone, so she started calling her less and less, until it became just text messages, until it became nothing. Marinette knew it was unhealthy to shut people out when you were grieving, but she couldn't bring herself to care.   
Alya wouldn't understand either. 

(Alya had been the first to know about her and Adrien, and Marinette remembered her squealing so loud her parents came up to her room to ask who was being strangled. Alya had been the first to know when she had her first kiss with him, when they snuck out of the house, when they first made love.  
Alya had been the last to know of his death.)

Marinette is 25, almost 26, and in the middle of lunch with monsieur Agreste when she gets a phone call that her mother is in the hospital. That's all she hears before she drops the phone and starts shaking, mind racing and memories flooding her mind. It's monsieur Agreste's hand on her shoulder that stops her from having a panic attack, and when she looks up he is talking to someone on her phone before cancelling the call. He snaps something at a waiter and takes her arm and leads her outside, to where his car is waiting. He doesn't say anything until they're inside, Marinette still shaking and clenching and unclenching her hands.   
'She's fine.' he says, as though he's making a remark about the weather. 'The car only grazed her -she has a twisted ankle.'   
Marinette almost crumples to the floor in relief. She doesn't miss the pained expression on monsieur Agreste's face.

Gabriel Agreste is not a nice man. Marinette knows this better than others would. He snaps at his staff, and treats the waiters at their restaurant like dirt. He's impatient and cold and cruel. He is condescending towards children, and doesn't hesitate to insult or criticize others.   
She often wonders why monsieur Agreste is so nice to her. He should hate her more than he hates others, more than he hated her before, he should blame her for what happened to his son, he should, he should...  
One day she finds it in her to ask him. His eyes rest on her face, and for once she doesn't look away. It takes him a good minute to answer.  
'You were the only one he was willing to fight me over.' he answers. When she bites back a sob, monsieur Agreste politely pretends not to notice.

(Adrien was with Marinette even though he also loved Ladybug. Marinette was with Adrien even though she also loved Chat Noir.   
Marinette chose Adrien because Adrien would always be her first choice, no matter what sweet things her kitty cat purred. Adrien chose Marinette because even though he loved Ladybug first, he fell in love with Marinette second, and Adrien believed that he would not have fallen in love with Marinette if Ladybug had truly dominated his heart.)

Marinette is 26 when she runs into Chloé at work. At first Marinette doesn't recognize her -her hair is brown and short, barely reaching her jaw line, and she isn't shouting or frowning when they come face to face, Marinette's hands full of boxes with clothes and accessories and Chloé holding nothing but a small bag. Chloé doesn't even look at Marinette twice as she takes half of the boxes out of Marinette's hands, and sharply asks 'Where to?'. Marinette is so flabbergasted it takes her a moment to remember where she was headed. When she starts walking, slow and hesitantly, Chloé follows without complaint. When they have dropped the boxes off, Chloé disappears without a goodbye.   
Marinette isn't sure Chloé even recognized her.

(One of the few -very, very few- downsides of dating Adrien Agreste was the fact that it meant hanging out with whoever he considered friends, which meant; hanging out with Chloé. She hadn't been as bad as she had been once, but she was still an awful person who liked to humiliate and bully Marinette. It had been tolerable, but not enjoyable, for a few months, until a party at Chloé's place. When everyone had cleared out -even Adrien, who had to leave early because of a modelling job, and even Sabrina, whose mother was sick- Marinette had stayed. She had told herself it was because Chloé's father still wasn't home, and she would leave when he came home, and although Chloé acted high and mighty Marinette saw her hands shaking with relief. She stayed with Chloé all night, and they made hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies, Marinette's specialty, and watched a movie, and when they fell asleep it was in the same bed in a house so big you could see it from the moon and so empty it felt like a black hole was hiding in the basement.  
Chloé acted like nothing had happened after that, but everything around them had changed -they bickered and fought, of course, but there was a basis on which they built a friendship no one could really understand, not even them. They weren't best friends, and even calling them good friends had been a stretch, but they were friends, and Adrien couldn't be happier with their tentative friendship.  
And then Adrien disappeared, and everything either of them had ever relied on had crumbled to the ground, and neither could look at each other without remembering the pain.)

Monsieur Agreste mentions a meeting with a colleague during lunch. He does it so casually Marinette almost misses it, but there's something in his voice that makes her look up. When he refuses to meet her curious gaze, a knowing smile blooms on her face. 'Oh really?' she purrs, and for a second she feels like the ladybug she once was, confident and teasing and able to make men confess their deepest, darkest secrets at her sight. 'And what may be the name of this lovely lady?'  
He narrows his eyes at her. 'Cécile Avis,' he says curtly, 'from the Avis perfume line.'   
Her smile widens. 'And why, pray tell, do you need a "meeting" with the head of a perfume company?' she asks, and enjoys the way he stiffens. He doesn't blush, because that is too much emotion for Gabriel Agreste, but it seems to be a close call.  
'I trust you will handle this information discreetly.' He says sternly, but his tone falls flat due to his uncomfortable state.   
'Monsieur Agreste, I am the embodiment of discreet.' she promises him. He presses his lips together and relaxes just the slightest bit. 'Also, you should wear the dark blue tie. It goes nice with your complexion.'

('I would appreciate it if you called me Gabriel.' he says one day, 'At least when we're having lunch.' Marinette considers this. 'Gabriel.' she says slowly, and he nods. 'Thank you, Gabriel.' she adds, and she doesn't hug him but she squeezes his arm and pretends she doesn't notice him closing his eyes a few seconds longer than necessary.)

Ladybug is on the roof when an akuma attacks. He looks rather ordinary, and he calls himself the Mourner. He’s of average size, but changes faces every few seconds and attacks with acid tears.   
'THE WORLD MAY FORGET THOSE WHO WERE DESERVING' he screams into the streets, 'BUT I WILL NOT! I WILL REMEMBER THEM -ALL OF THEM.'  
Ladybug doesn't know what caused him to change. She stopped wondering about it a long time ago. The Chat is already down there, ducking and jumping to avoid being hit by the acid. When Ladybug arrives, the akuma has the face of David Bowie, and the Chat jumps to her side.   
'I loved Bowie.' he muses, 'I think he takes the appearance of one's favourite artist? Before this he was that Snape guy.' And that's the only warning she gets before the akuma turns around and faces her.  
And suddenly wrinkles and brown hair make place for bright green eyes and a shy laugh and Ladybug feels as though someone punched her in the stomach. She can't breathe, she can't breathe as those beautiful eyes stare into hers, and it takes being tackled to the ground to wake her from her stupor.  
'Now's not the time to be making those googly eyes at someone.' the new Chat jokes, already up and peering around the trashcan he had pushed her behind. Tears escape her as other Chat's back is turned to her, and her heart hurts.  
Adrien, her Adrien.  
And suddenly cold, white rage overtakes her. She feels her fingers burning, her surroundings seem muted as she gets up and searches out the villain.   
He stole Adrien's face.  
She takes out her yoyo, slower than normal, and she has to bite her tongue not to lose herself in her fury. 'C'mon Chat,' she says sharply, her eyes never leaving the akuma, 'let's finish this quick.

(The first time she made him laugh, really laugh, she had decided she loved his laugh and he had been embarrassed by the way he laughed. He had joked that he sounded like a bear with a cough. She had kissed him and said she laughed like a drunk seal, so they fit each other perfectly. She had loved the small, shy, genuine laugh that had come from his lips then even more.)

Marinette still has nightmares. They never really stopped, but she had become better at hiding it. Often, Tikki would wake her up in the middle of the night because she had been crying or screaming, or maybe both, and they would sit on the balcony where Chat used to visit Marinette, before Marinette became part of the Marinette and Adrien duo, and in retrospect, before Chat Noir became part of the Marinette and Adrien duo.   
Marinette would sometimes get some tea downstairs, and some cookies for Tikki, and they would sit and look at the stars while Marinette told Tikki about her dream. It was an agreement Tikki had insisted upon: she would wake Marinette so she wouldn't scream her neighbours out of bed, and Marinette would talk to Tikki about her nightmares so she wouldn't keep it all bottled up.   
Marinette would prefer not to talk about the nightmares, to leave them to rot in some deep, dark corner of her mind so she wouldn't have to think about it until it came crawling into her brain at night, but Tikki had insisted and Marinette couldn't deny that talking about it helped some days.  
When she wakes up in cold sweat, her throat raw and a concerned Tikki hovering over her, it takes everything Marinette has not to start hyperventilating. Normally she can't remember her dreams, or they are hazy, but this one was so real, so burned into her mind that she can't stop the small sobs that escape her lips.   
She's on the balcony with Tikki in no time, despite the cold. It's almost November, and Marinette can see her breath as she looks up at the moon. She can almost pretend the warmth of her blanket comes from Adrien's arms, but it's not quite the same -not as strong and safe, and the smell is all off.   
Not that she can still remember what he smells like.  
She stutters the words and Tikki listens, silent and with worry and fear in her eyes, listens as Marinette talks about the darkness that enveloped her dreams. Marinette closes her eyes as she talks, and the images flash before her eyes; Chat Noir, her beautiful kitty, smiling and crying acid tears until his mask begins to steam and falls apart and suddenly it's Adrien, her beautiful boyfriend Adrien -but he's still smiling and crying, and she can see smoke sizzling from his skin until there's nothing left but a smiling skull on Adrien's body, and it falls limp on the ground and Adrien's clothes dissolve into spiders, a million small spiders that go everywhere, in her nose, in her mouth, in her eyes, and when she finally looks up Adrien's bones are gone and instead she sees herself, she sees Ladybug, and there's no white in her eyes and no teeth in her mouth and she’s smiling and running towards her and her smile grows and grows and-  
Marinette doesn't realize she's started crying again until she feels Tikki wiping her tears away.  
They sit there until the sun rises, together, Marinette and her last friend.

Ladybug and the new Chat Noir have almost finished their nightly patrol when he finally asks the question that's been on his lips for five years. 'What happened to the previous Chat Noir?' he asks, and Ladybug goes silent. It had never been released to the press; Chat Noir had just vanished one year, and turned up another year. The public didn't know this was a different Chat Noir, their kwamis prevented them from seeing beyond the mask.   
Ladybug's eyes shift to the side, away from the still so young face of her still so new partner. They've been working together for five years, and although their dynamic had improved, it had never become the seamless teamwork she used to experience with her Chat. When she doesn't answer, the Chat just exhales slowly.   
'I see.' he mumbles, more to himself than to her, 'Okay. Okay.'  
It takes him less than three seconds to recover. 'What was he like?' he asks, so genuinely interested it almost hurts Ladybug. She turns around and studies his face. He was everything you're not, she thinks, he was everything you could be and more.  
'He was my partner.' she answers instead, and she leaves before he can ask more.

The second time Marinette sees Chloé it's at work again, but this time the girl reminds Marinette more of the Chloé she once knew than the last time they met. She's shouting at a man, clearly furious, while he tries to disappear behind the paperwork in his hands, and Marinette thinks about leaving so to not get caught up in this mess, but then Chloé sees her.   
'Marinette,' she snaps, 'come here and tell this man he's an idiot.'  
Marinette walks over, if only to prevent Chloé from setting the building on fire, and Chloé glares at the man as she tersely repeats the problem to Marinette, shoving a paper in her face.  
'This, see this?' she says irritatedly, and Marinette examines at the dress design on the paper, 'it is wrong, the colour scheme is completely off and I refuse -refuse!- to do a shoot with mismatching clothes, so obvious that a fucking turkey could have seen it, and this man, this imbecile-' Chloé raged, only to be interrupted by the timid man.  
'B-but that's what they gave me -monsieur Agreste approved -nothing I can do!' he protested, but Marinette hummed in disapproval and the two fell silent. 'No, Chloé is right.' Marinette says, and the words feel strange on her tongue. Marinette continues as Chloé turns to the man with a triumphant look in her eyes. 'The colours are off here and here -I don't think monsieur Agreste would have approved of this, so there might be some mix-up.' She handed the paper back to the man who was now red in the face.  
'Well?!' Chloé barked at him, 'go let that get checked out!' and the man hurried off as though the devil was on his heels.

Marinette remember Chloé at the funeral. Beautiful and stylish as always, even at a funeral, even when mourning her best friend, but for once she didn't take the front stage, for once she didn't demand the attention she felt she was due, and Marinette had been grateful.   
Chloé stood at the back of the church, refusing to sit down despite the impossibly high heels and empty seats. Chloé stood still and proudly, not moving even once, like a rock in the middle of the sea. The immovable object surrounded by the people who had drowned in their grief.  
During the ceremony, Chloé didn't cry once.

Marinette is 27 when an intern runs to her at work, fidgeting and with panic in his eyes and a message for her from the boss, from monsieur Agreste himself, to come see him in his office. When she arrives, Nathalie is not at her desk to direct her through. She finds Gabriel in a dark room, curtains closed and computer, for once, turned off.   
'Marinette.' he says, and his voice sounds all wrong. He sounds raw, and suddenly Marinette doesn't want to know why he had called for her because it can only mean more pain. 'Please, sit down.'   
She sits down.   
It's silent for 3 minutes and 37 seconds before Gabriel starts talking. Marinette knows, she counted, dread filling her with each second. When Gabriel clears his throat, she's so on edge she almost falls from her chair. Normally it would make him raise his eyebrow in amusement.  
Normally.  
'I was going through my son's room yesterday.' he says, and Marinette sucks in a sharp breath because she knows no one in that house had dared enter his room since Adrien died. She knows, because she used to sneak in through the window and sit there for hours just to cry, and no one ever disturbed her.  
'I think this was -is- for you.' he says, and he pushes a small box towards her.  
There's a ring inside, beautifully delicate silver, decorated with small branches and with a beautiful pink gem in the middle.   
'He must've really loved you.' Gabriel says hoarsely, and he sounds like he wants to say more but he either can't force the words out of his mouth or they're drowned out by Marinette's sobbing because she hears nothing but the sound of her ragged breathing and static. She wants to scream until her throat is hoarse but she can't, she can't, it's been six years and she's supposed to be over it dammit, so she just sits there and cries.

She doesn't leave Gabriel's office until it's dark, and when they say goodbye they both pretend the other doesn't have red, swollen eyes. 

('Crying is so healthy,' Adrien had told her once, when she had been turned down by the school of her dreams, 'it's cleansing for the soul, it lets all the bad feelings out -c'mon Mari, you can't bottle it up. You gotta let it out.' And she cried on his shoulder and found comfort in his arms and suddenly the world had not seen like such a bad place to be in, if it had arms this warm she could hide in.)

When she meets Gabriel Agreste for lunch the next week, he doesn't comment on the beautiful ring that adorns her ring finger, but she could swear she spotted the ghost of a smile around his lips.

'Girl, you had better not still be working here.' Marinette hears behind her. It's Saturday morning, she's restocking in her family's bakery, and that voice. That voice.   
She turns around sharply, dropping the bread she'd had in her hands, and is faced with a smiling Alya. Her hair is longer and in a braid, and she had foregone glasses, but her mole was still above her eyebrow and her smile was still a bit lopsided and her eyes had the same teasing look and Alya, her dearest friend Alya.  
Marinette gasps and screams and jumps over the counter to hug her.  
She hasn't felt this happy in years.

There had been strange whispers all day at work, about Gabriel Agreste. Someone said he had seen him thank Nathalie for her work. A girl confided that her friend, a designer, had handed in the wrong design and all Gabriel had said was 'Do better next time'. A third party chimed in, claiming to have heard him whistling when he walked past monsieur Agreste's office. Marinette had been doubtful, chalking it up to people inventing their own rumours when there were too few scandals to gossip about, but when Gabriel walked into the restaurant for lunch she saw something different in him. There was a slight spring in his step and a minor slump in his shoulders. He didn't walk as stiffly as usual and his face looked more relaxed than she had ever seen. If she had to guess, that facial expression was the closest he could get to 'happy'.  
Before he reached their table, she jumped up, and with wide eyes looking at him she exclaimed; 'holy shit you got laid!'

As it turns out, Chloé had relaxed a lot over the years. She was still bossy, of course, and overly confident and arrogant, but she was softer at the edges. She was calmer, less likely to burst out in a temper tantrum, and she had become more reserved. Marinette was surprised to see how, instead of immediately insulting someone or screaming her opinion in his or her face, she was patient instead. She listened, and if she didn't like what she was hearing, she listened some more and waited for the right opportunity to verbally destroy whoever had irked her.  
Marinette had seen her do it at least eight times now. So far, no one had been able to respond or make a favourable comeback. Five of the eight victims Marinette knows of actively avoided Chloé. She'd seen one of them go as far as to climb out a window when he had heard her heels coming towards them.  
It amused Marinette almost as much as it amused Chloé, and it seemed to please Chloé that it amused Marinette.  
Marinette doesn't bump into Chloé all that much at work, their jobs keeping them occupied in very different parts of Agreste Fashion, but ever since Marinette had backed her up against a possible fashion disaster Chloé had seemingly decided they were friends again. Chloé often sought Marinette out at work, sometimes just sitting there reading while Marinette worked, sometimes she just ranted about whatever had annoyed her this time, and sometimes, very rarely but sometimes, she timidly asked Marinette if she could help her with something.  
It was even more rare that Marinette actually had something Chloé could help her with, but she always managed to find something for Chloé to keep her hands busy and her mind occupied.  
Marinette remembered from her years with Adrien that Chloé doesn't work unless something was bothering her. She's not sure if she's relieved or sad that that habit hadn’t changed.  
Not once had Marinette seen Sabrina around, and she couldn't help but wonder if the two had gone their separate ways. When she finally asks Chloé, the girl impatiently huffs. 'Of course not,' she says sharply, 'Sabrina would be nowhere without me -you have not seen the way she dresses herself when I'm not around. A disaster, I can assure you. Sabrina is studying for her detective's exam is all -it's in a month, and she can't afford to fail, not when she has my expectations to live up to.' Chloé laughs haughtily, but it's forced, nervous. Marinette smiles softly. She'd never understood the dynamic between those two, but it were in moments like this one could tell Chloé actually cared.  
'I always thought she'd end up your assistant.' Marinette remarks casually and Chloé recoils with disgust.  
'My assistant?' her voice is even shriller than before, but amusement laces her words, 'Honey, I don't date my employees.' And oh, Marinette thinks as she watches Chloé prattle on with a small blush on her face and a forced frown, oh, that actually explains a lot.  
Like why Chloé and Sabrina used to ditch parties and disappear for hours, only to show up later and act like nothing had happened.  
Or why Chloé had taken Marinette's and Adrien's relationship with more grace than Marinette had assumed possible.  
Or, her mind supplied, why Chloé acted the way she did around Ladybug.

Ladybug is 28 when she almost loses the second Chat Noir. They had been fighting an akuma and their dynamic had been off, completely wrong -as always, she thinks, they're always off- and suddenly he stumbles over the string of her yoyo and falls from the roof.  
She jumps after him before she could think, the only thing on her mind big, green, pleading eyes, looking at her to save him.  
He almost didn't make it. She almost didn't make it. But her luck pulls through, again, and they stand safely on the ground with a defeated akuma on the roof above them and an akumatized bobby pin in Chat's hands.  
When she talks to Tikki that night, she talks about the fight.   
'We're awful together Tikki,' she complains, 'our timing is always wrong, he's always at the wrong place, we can't stop falling over each other -defeating akuma takes thrice as long as it used to! I can't stand it!'   
'It's always hard, a new partner.' Tikki tries to comfort her, but Marinette knows that seven years should be enough time to get used to someone, 'You'll get there,' Tikki says soothingly, 'he is Chat Noir.'  
'He's not my Chat Noir.' Marinette snaps and a look of guilt falls over Tikki. Marinette thinks on her words, and a sense of dread suddenly washes over her.  
'He's not my Chat Noir,' she whispers, eyes wide, 'and I'm not his Ladybug, am I?'  
'No,' Tikki says softly, 'you're not.'   
Marinette sits down, trying to work through the information. So many questions arrive in her mind, but she doesn't know which one to ask first.   
'Do you know?' she asks, 'Who his Ladybug is? Did- did you find her?'   
Tikki's guilty look tells her everything she needs to know.  
'Tikki,' Marinette begins, scared to hear the answer, 'were you supposed to move on when my Chat died?'  
It takes a few seconds before Tikki answers. 'Every Chat Noir needs their Ladybug, and every Ladybug needs their Chat Noir. They are chosen based on their compatibility.' Tikki finally says. 'But I couldn't- not then, not at that time. Not while you were so hurt. I couldn't abandon you while you were still so raw with pain.' Big, pleading eyes search Marinette's face. 'And then the new Chat appeared and I thought- I thought maybe it could work. Maybe you two could find a way to make it work.'  
'Thank you Tikki.' Marinette murmurs. 'Oh god, thank you.'

That night, before sleeping, she takes off her earrings for the first time in 14 years. She doesn't give them to Tikki, just looks at them, and puts them on her dresser. Tikki says nothing as Marinette lays in bed, but curls up closer than before.  
'Goodnight Marinette.' She whispers.  
'Goodnight Tikki.' Marinette whispers back, eager to say it while she still can.

The night brings her images of a razor-sharp knife, piercing her back, and two white clawed hands who rip her heart out of her chest and hold it in front of her face. She can't see the face to which the hands belong, but she hears the unmistakeable sound of a tingling bell.   
'Chat?' she calls out into the darkness, 'Chat?!'  
There's no answer, only a hollow laugh, and Marinette jumps up in cold sweat. For once, Tikki isn't hovering around her with concern, instead still snoozing on Marinette's pillow, and Marinette realizes that the mental bond she has with Tikki is only possible while she has the earrings on.   
So this is what it will be like, she thinks with a hollow feeling in her chest.  
Marinette knew she wouldn't keep the earrings. She wasn't as selfless, as innocent, as she once might have been, but she couldn't quite find the strength to be this selfish. To deprive the true Ladybug of the chance to take her rightful place, to deprive Chat Noir of the chance to meet his actual partner, to deprive Paris of the certainty of safety... No, that was too much. 

(Having Alya in her life again is... strange, to say the least. Laughing in her room over whatever nonsense Alya pulled in New York makes Marinette feel nostalgic, rememberes her of happier times. She gets so caught up in the moment -doubling over with laughter, and stretching her left hand to grab something, someone, only to find an empty space- that she forgets it's not the way it once as.  
Alya sees. 'Oh Marinette,' she sighs, but Marinette changes subjects before she can continue, instead asking Alya about her latest piece. The smile with which she assures Alya is strained, but Alya doesn't seem to notice as she launches into a lengthy description of the piece she had spent weeks on -something with criminals and youth culture, but Marinette doesn't follow Alya's words as she tucks her hand under her leg.)

Ladybug doesn't know how to break the news to this Chat in a good way, so bluntly will have to do. 'I'm leaving.' She blurts out, and he almost trips over his feet in surprise. 'What?!'  
His enthusiasm and energy haven't diminished even a little in the last seven years they had worked together, although he had become a little calmer, a little more in control, and Marinette couldn't help but envy him for it. She used to have that much energy, that much brightness in her. These days it was tiring for her to even think about caring for others, let alone shout her love and happiness in their faces.  
'B-b-b-but why? Did I do something wrong? Is this about- about the last akuma? Or -this isn't about me trying to borrow your yoyo is it, because I swear I just wanted to look at it!' He's panicking, and Ladybug finds it almost cute.  
'What did Plagg tell you about the Chat Noir and Ladybug duo?' She asks in lieu of answering. Almost automatically, he blurts; 'There is no Chat Noir without Ladybug, and no Ladybug without Chat Noir.' he says, and then frowns, 'Hey, how did you know about P-'  
She interrupts him; 'Chat Noir and Ladybug are partners. They are chosen based on their compatibility.' She repeats Tikki's words. 'When I was chosen as Ladybug, it was because another was chosen as my Chat Noir. But...'  
She bites her lip. She sees dread filling his eyes, and she knows he knows what's coming. 'You're not my Chat Noir.' she says softly, 'And I was never meant to be your Ladybug.'  
For once, he keeps quiet. She sees in his eyes that he wants to protest, but he doesn't say anything until he huffs out a sarcastic laugh. 'So that's it?' he asks, 'Seven years, and that's it?'  
Ladybug wants to snap at him that this isn't exactly easy for her, giving up on her superhero life, but she remembers he's still just a child and says nothing.  
'So this is goodbye.' He says, and there's a small waver in his voice. She confirms it with a hum.  
He sticks out his hand. 'It was fun working with you,' he says with a grin that's not quite convincing enough, 'partner.'  
Ladybug foregoes his hand and envelops the smaller boy in a hug. 'I'm leaving Paris to you,' she whispers, 'Chat Noir.'  
For the first time, the name doesn't sound wrong on her tongue.

(Marinette gives Tikki the earrings Saturday afternoon. Their farewells involve a lot of tears and a lot of hugs, and Tikki keeps coming back every few minutes, to tell Marinette she loves her again or to give some advice or instructions. When Tikki finally leaves for the last time, Marinette stays on her balcony for two hours, waiting for the little kwami to return again.)

(Paris is left whispering when Ladybug disappears, leaving only Chat Noir to patrol the streets. Gabriel keeps sending her funny looks but he never asks. All of Paris seems to sigh in relief when, after two months of silence, Ladybug reappears. Marinette wonders if the public can't see the new Ladybug's dark skin and blazing red hijab with black spots, or that the kwamis trick them into thinking Ladybug's always looked like that.)

Marinette only met Adrien's mother once, at his funeral. He had always been so adoring of her, spoke only about her with love and devotion, and it puzzled Marinette how he could love her so when she had walked out on him when he was only three. The one time she dared ask, a dark look had crossed his face. A woman who shines as brightly as my mother cannot be contained by a man like my father, he'd said, and it had never been brought up again.  
Adrien's mother had hair as blond as Adrien and as wild as Chat's, but her eyes were a deep dark blue with a sharp and dangerous look hidden behind the innocent aquamarine colour. Her laugh was nothing like Adrien's, instead open and inviting and fake, and Marinette wondered how she could stand there and laugh and be so carefree when it was her son's funeral. When Marinette had come up to introduce herself, she planted three air kisses on Marinette's cheeks and told her thank you for the condolences before dismissing Marinette, all without letting Marinette speak.   
Marinette was glad Adrien never had to see his mother like that.

When Marinette is 29, she finds herself in front of his grave again. She hadn't visited in two months, which was the longest she'd have ever gone without going to see him, and still doesn’t know what to say. She stares at the flowers in her hands; a bouquet of purple poppies. She realizes she's forgotten the pigeon feathers.  
She crouches down to place the flowers, and stays down to look at the grave. If she squinted hard enough, she could imagine Adrien’s image behind her in the reflection of the grave stone.   
'You're father is moving on.' She sighs, giving up on her attempts of summoning him. She slumps down in the grass and looks at the sky.  
'He's found a new girlfriend, amazingly, and they're moving in together. I assume he already told you that though.' Or maybe not. Marinette hadn't seen Gabriel around the graveyard lately. Then again, she hasn't been around as much either.   
The pang of guilt doesn’t hurt as much as it once did.  
She focuses on the gravestone again. 'I don't know how to give up on you, Adrien.' She mumbles. There's no answer.

It's a late Tuesday evening when Marinette and her mother are in the kitchen together and Sabine suddenly gasps. Through the window you could see the shadow of the superhero duo running over the roofs, jumping and laughing. Sabine sighs contently.  
'I'm glad to see he's doing so well,' her mother remarks, 'Chat Noir, I mean. Remember that time he saved my life? That must have been, what, eight years ago?'   
Marinette stops breathing. Her mother doesn't notice.  
'He took such a bad hit.' She tuts.  
Blood on black leather pleading green eyes a small black creature screaming in her face  
'And then he disappeared for a year! I was so worried, I could collapse with relief when he turned back up.'  
I'll be late she said start without me she said you can handle this right kitty she said  
Her mother hums. 'Well, he seems very happy now, and that's the important part.' she decides, and goes back to her knitting.  
Don't worry bugaboo he said I got this he said don’t worry princess he said it’s just a scratch

(One day, when they were both drunk off their asses and snuggling on the couch in their apartment, Adrien had told her; you have such a beautiful brain, he said, you would never get in trouble because people take one look at your beautiful brain and they would turn around and run. Marinette had smiled and giggled like it was the most romantic compliment ever, and when he called her 'princess' that night, she assumed it was a slip of the tongue.)

Marinette is 30 when she gets a phone call from New York, offering her a job as a fashion designer. She doesn't know how they got her number, but she suspects Gabriel has something to do with it. Everyone around her is overjoyed and supportive, with Alya screaming in her face from happiness and Chloé telling her she'd be a fool to turn it down and I do not befriend fools and her parents sad to see her leave but encouraging her to take the job with a smile.   
But going to New York means leaving behind Paris, her beautiful city, which she had protected for so long.  
It meant leaving behind Agreste Fashion.  
It meant leaving behind her family.  
It meant leaving behind Adrien.

(It takes her two weeks to respond to the offer. It takes her a month to get her affairs in order.   
It takes her three days to say goodbye to Adrien.  
It takes her two hours and five thousand kisses and three hundred hugs to say goodbye to her family.   
It takes her five minutes to board the plane.)

Marinette is 30 when the plane takes off and, for the first time in her life, she gets to behold Paris from the sky and she marvels in its beauty. Marinette is 30 when she says goodbye to Paris and goodbye to her love and, hello, hello, to a new start.

The air she breathes has never been fresher.

**Author's Note:**

> When the cat is away from home,  
> the ladybug dies ayyyy (my friend made that joke im not that awful)
> 
> yeah i dont know what happened tbh 
> 
> ...sorry?  
> (i'm not sorry)


End file.
